May every day be Thanksgiving

My wife told me this morning that Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday. When I asked her why, she said it has all the joy and none of the stress and work of Christmas. (She reminded that women bear most of the burden of preparing for Christmas.) I think Thanksgiving is mine, too, because I like the idea of having a day to remind us that gratitude is the center of a fulfilled life.

We all know people who always seem to be happy.  It’s not that their lives are without problems; it’s that they are not overwhelmed by them.  And we know people who never seem to be happy.  When I think of these folks, it seems like “thank you” and “I’m sorry” aren’t a big part of their vocabulary.  So what’s the biggest difference between the two groups?  The common trait amongst the “happy” ones is that they exude an overall sense of gratitude.

Philosophers and scientists agree.  All good things come from an attitude of gratitude. It is the single most important predictor of “happiness” as measured by a sense of well-being, less stress, ability to handle problems, not blaming others and themselves, contentedness, and most likely lead to acts of cooperation, kindness and generosity. In short, gratitude is the champagne of emotions.

Having a sense of gratitude is the center of most religions.  As a child I thought it was because God demanded it (which confused me in that why would an all-powerful god need compliments?)  I have realized that I missed the point – my gratitude is a gift to me!

Lucky for us, there are ways to develop gratitude.  In a study, scientists determined the quickest way and most intense spike in “happiness” came from a “gratitude visit” which involved writing and delivering a letter of gratitude to someone.  A more lasting impact was found by having participants keep a journal each day of three things that they are grateful for and  to try to avoid repetition.  The “happiness” scores peaked at about six months and many participants continued on their own.

So I guess there is a lot of wisdom in “counting our blessings”.  Here’s one sure way that helps me realize I have so much more to be grateful for: prepare a paper with two columns.  Title the left column “Things I have but don’t want” (e.g. this ugly mole on my forehead) and the right one “Things I don’t have that I don’t want” (e.g., an ugly cancerous mole on my forehead!).  The right column is a lot longer and worse than the left one.

May you and yours have a joyous and grateful Thanksgiving!