Life lessons from playing golf with a friend

I am a terrible golfer.  But I am a tremendous optimist, too.  That is the only reason I have to explain why I continue to play.  I used to be self-conscious about how I played until I played with a friend of mine, Tom Ross, at his country club.

It was a glorious summer day on the kind of golf course people dream of playing on.  It was the kind of place that feels like it is better than you. (It was sort of like my first time in a Starbucks: this place is a lot hipper than I.) So feeling out of place from the start, I felt extra pressure to play well.  After a few shots my discomfort became obvious to my host. As we walked up the fairway, he told me,”You seem very concerned about how you are playing and maybe embarrassed that you are not playing as well as the others.” Boy, that was an understatement! 

He continued,”You need to remember something: Nobody is worrying about YOUR golf game.  They are worrying about THEIR golf game. So don’t spend time thinking about them, just focus on what you are doing.”

Shazam! Truer words have never been spoken!  And not just about golf!  How many times have I worried about how I look at the gym next to the “hard bodies” or if my car is exotic enough as I drive up to a fancy restaurant or if people will think I am a hayseed if I take a picture in a restaurant and so on?  From that day forward, I developed whole new attitude about situations when I am feeling out of place: I am going to focus on MY golf game and not worry about what others might be thinking about it.

Tom had more wise words to say that day.  His first advice changed my view of myself in uncomfortable situations. The second piece of advice was not just true about golf, it is true about life: “If you don’t get angry, play by the rules and keep up, you can play with anyone.”