Different glasses, different views

I remember hearing a story about an old man who lived on the main road at the edge of town.  As he went about his work in his garden, he was often the first townsperson a visitor would encounter. 

One day a visitor stopped on his way to town and asked what were the people like here. The old man responded, “Depends, I suppose.  What were they like where you came from?”

“You couldn’t ask for better”, said the visitor. ”People were welcoming and helpful. Some would go out of their way to make you feel part of the community.  And if you ever needed a hand, folks would pitch in. Some became my best friends.”

The old man smiled and said, “Well, you’ll find the people here are just like that, too.”

Later that same day another visitor spotted him in the garden and happened to ask him about the town folks. The old man said, “Depends, I suppose.  What were they like where you came from?”

“Well, they pretty much kept to themselves”, the visitor said. “As a matter of fact, they weren’t very friendly at all and it was hard to fit in. I never really was able to get close to anyone.”

The old man nodded sympathetically and said, “Well, you’ll find the people here are just like that, too.”

Each of us sees the world through our own set of glasses.  Too many times we see what we expect to see and not the underlying reality.  Our life experiences and biases, good or bad, form a filter through which we interpret all that we take in - our encounters, relationships, and situations. They shape our beliefs, values and expectations. We all do this.  It is part of being human.

The problem occurs if we unaware or choose to ignore this basic truth about ourselves and assume everyone else has the same glasses. This leads to disappointment. Worse, when others act differently than we would, it is easy to develop an “I’m right, they are wrong” attitude.  We can see this played out everyday – in our private lives, at work, in our country and between countries.

So the next time, someone does something that is completely different than the way I would, I need to remind myself of this.  It helps reduce the surprise or hurt or anger.  Even better, if I try to figure out what the world looks through their glasses, I might find that my view of the world has gotten much richer for it.